A little read, and a lot of music

Hello again, readers of great literature and lovers of musical wonders. Or, hello to the people that have somehow wandered here by accident and really don't know what's going on. All are welcome. 

To start off with, those that know me well know that I'm infatuated with music of every sort. Be it indie, folk, rock, rap, not so much country, and even classical, I can't seem to get enough. If you sat me in a room with nothing but a record player, some headphones, and a decent selection of music, you'd more than likely never hear from me again. There's something about the connection that music makes with my brain that captivates me and draws me ever closer, like I've found some intimate and personal story within this song that I've always known, but I've never been able to release. It's something I've learned to appreciate and really almost rely upon; An emotional connection to an invisible thing. 

As little as 6 months ago, something happened to me that I'll inevitably discuss on here one day, but for now I'll just say that it made me question a lot of things that I've been taking for granted, or better yet, things that I've been blindly following for my entire life. I questioned my God and why He would show me this only to take it away. I came to doubt my very belief in love, the very essence of what I've wanted from the day of my birth, and if it had just become something that I'd made up in my mind, a cheap novelty to cover the fact that humans, no matter how hard we try otherwise, are only out to keep themselves warm. I was miserable and got well drunk a few nights, taking solace for a night at a time in the plastering brain-bash of a few shots. But there would always be the morning, and there'd always be the questions. Just because you forget them for a night doesn't make them go away. I tried that once before, in Italy, and the beautiful girl asked the same thing to me the next day. 

And it was in about the 2nd month of this self-induced questioning, a quarter-life-crisis if you will, that I pulled myself out to see a Sufjan Stevens concert with one of my friends. I wasn't really in the mood, nor was I that impressed with his last album, an over-the-top electro-explosion that was by and far the complete opposite of his earlier, quieter, more personal albums. But I'd bought the tickets ages ago, and my friend tagged along, making me happier with her giddiness, aglow with the thought of live music, a trait I happen to share. By the time we'd parked and walked over to the venue, we were both vibrating with excitement and I'd all but forgotten about my eternal questions. 

The next 3 hours were a blur, a fantastic blur, of music and dance and emotions so raw that they seemed to materialize in the air and take hold of everyone in that room. I was floored, mesmerized, confused as all, and loving every beat of it. And when it was finished, I felt better than I had in months, somehow cleansed by the electronic blips, healed by autotune, if a thing was even possible. 

Sufjan Stevens, once quiet poet and songwriter, transformed in front of my eyes into a living ball of energy. He danced, jumped, propped himself up on instruments, and played every note as if the very heavens above were demanding it. He had such passion for every song that, despite his complete reversal from his quiet roots, every person in the room was cheering along with him. It was magical to see someone obviously loving every second of what he was doing. And it was in that realization that I understood some of the questions I'd been having. 

Just because I don't have something does not mean that it doesn't exist. I can't see the wind, and it's not always around, but when it is I can feel it against me and understand what it can do. I can't see love, and it's not always around, but when it is I feel it with every fiber of my being and want to hold it as long as possible. She got away last summer, and it made me question why I'd been shown her in the first place. Why show me something that I want more than anything, only to have her ripped away? Maybe I'm supposed to focus on school and career before love comes into it? I'm still figuring that one out, but I'm not as bitter as I once was. Sufjan Stevens and 3 hours of beauty helped me through that. 

Here's a clip of the concert (sadly not the one I was at) of Sufjan Stevens performing Vesuvius. It's magnificent.

- Dan

Music, and the dream of a memory

Beautiful band that still stirs me with each new listen.

Mumford and Sons

The end for today. I'll be back with more normal stuff later. Just thought this was beautiful enough to add.

Dan

Well, hello there Planet Earth.

It's been quite some time since my last blogging experience, a slightly humorous and often heartbreaking adventure following my mysterious past. So instead of just doing the same thing and reliving all that entertainment, I think I'll try something a bit different this time. I'm in the enjoyable time of my life where I'm busy enough to not have any time to do anything I really want to, but just enough time to think about what I'd like to be doing when I'm not able to actually do any of them. Confusing enough, but it makes a bit of sense.


But first, for those that are uninitiated to who I am, actually. I'm a 26-year-old Architect in training, living in Dallas, TX. I was born in England in 1984, moved to Pittsburgh, PA in 1993, then to Lake Jackson, TX in 1998, then to College Station in 2004, and finally (for now) Dallas in 2008. I lived in Italy for 3 months during college. I've been to Mexico, Canada, Spain, France, Italy, Germany, Scotland, Sweden, and over half of these 50 states. I've been in love only once, seen more weddings than a boy my age should have a right to, and go to church quite religiously, although lately that's been in a bit of flux (more on that in a later post). I have a younger brother that just finished college and now works in Austin, of which I'm slightly jealous because yo quiero musica. I have a sense of humor that very often gets me out of the trouble that my sense of humor just got me in. I love music with an unequaled passion. I'm pretty relaxed and don't really get stressed out much of anything, because I learned a long time ago that the world is what you make of it, not what it makes of you. I find fortune cookies simultaneously hilarious and depressing. I am not that sentimental, but smart enough to know when I've lost something valuable. I enjoy Semi-Professional Casual Donut Thursdays at work. I'm not lazy, I'm just damn good at relaxing. I would do anything for my friends, unless it's something that I don't see good in. I miss my college friends terribly, but enjoy the memory of them. I'm not really good at first encounters, science, remembering obscure sports facts, playing golf, saying exactly what I feel at exactly the right moment, or telling the people that I love that I love them. I am flawed, but also aware enough of myself to understand that and to try and fix my faults. My name is Daniel but everyone calls me Dan, save my mother when I'm in trouble. I'm 26 and still waiting for my life to start. 


Overall, you see loyal reader, I like to think. I enjoy figuring out things and wondering and imagining worlds that shouldn't exist. I'm a child with a box of crayons and a white page. I'm oblivious to what's really going on around me because more often than not, it's boring. I hum, wiggle to imaginary music, and can pretty much keep myself entertained for hours, which, upon writing, sounds supremely sad.


So instead of letting all these random thoughts escape into the void, I'd like to write them down and share them with you, patron of the arts. There are stories and tales of adventure, silly ideas I might have come across, or just what happens to be on my mind at the moment. Like I said, I'm at an odd time in my life, caught between the rushing tide of adulthood and the fading beauty of childhood, and everything that that entails. Sometimes I feel like I missed some of my youth, being that I moved a few times, but I've come to find that I, as a person and individual, would not exist without the experiences that I did go through, so I shouldn't regret something that didn't happen, because if it did, I wouldn't be where I am now.


And that's the sort of deep philosophical stuff you can expect here, as well as fart jokes, general stupidity, and a gradual shift from where I am to where I'll be.


-Dan